Emotion Commotion
by Angel13490
Summary: What if Beast Boy was actually a brooding, angry shape-shifter who was constantly afraid of letting his inner demons control his actions? What if Raven simply accepted her destiny and defeated her father before he ever came? Let's find out shall we?
1. Go!

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Emotion Commotion

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Summary: What if the roles were switched? What if our favorite changeling was actually a brooding, angry shape-shifter who was constantly afraid of letting his inner demons control his actions? What if the mystic we know and love simply accepted her destiny and through the help of her mentors and friends, found a way to defeat her tormentor? Let's find out shall we?

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ok i'm not sure where i'm going to take this. It may be a oneshot it may evolve into something deeper but its probably not going to be a full length story. i'm thinking just random shots of the titans' lives with the roles switched. give me feedback on any scenes you'd want to see and ill see what i can do!

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_Beast Boy_

I've never considered myself as a good person. Sure I was in the Doom Patrol (only for about two months before Steve kicked me out) and sure I've saved a few people's lives before but you have to call a spade a spade.

I'm a monster.

First of all I'm _green_ so people naturally look at me like I'm a freak, which I am. Second of all if I'm not in complete control of myself my whole arm might turn into a tiger limb, claws and all. Thirdly, I let my parents die.

Ya I know I was only ten, they were too far away, I wasn't strong enough, blah, blah, blah. I know the drill. Doesn't change the fact that if I'd really wanted to I could've done something. But I didn't. So they're dead.

And of course there's this…thing inside me. My Beast. It's my more…dark side. My primal side; the part of me that sees an innocent herbivore and wants to rip it into shreds, feel the heat of its blood in my mouth and gorge on its entrails. The part that when I see a pretty girl walking down the street, or smells her perfume I want to…I can't even think about it, I'll give myself nightmares.

So what am I doing running through some weird spaceship trying to get rid of these homicidal aliens? Well to be perfectly honest I'm not really sure. First this freaky chick with glowing eyes is tearing up Jump City and there's some weirdo from Gotham in a stoplight costume trying to take her out then somehow these two other kids got into it. Some robot looking guy and a weird girl in a cloak who can make black energy. Then it turns out she's escaped from these other aliens and they're threatening to destroy the city so now Stoplight Kid, Alien Chick, Some Robot Guy and Oddly Cheerful Girl in a Cloak and me are sneaking around in their ship trying to destroy some mega-weapon they have. Great plan.

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_Raven_

Hi, I'm Raven Roth. Daughter of Arella and Trigon. By the way Trigon is an inter-dimensional demon lord whose only intention is to come to Earth, destroy it and set up his hellish kingdom by using me as a portal. Needless to say family reunions are a little awkward.

But seriously I'm pretty kick butt if I do say so myself. I'm telepathic, empathic, telekinetic, I can teleport and heal people and I know tons of spells and martial arts moves. Of course being a half-demon has its draw backs but I've been able to deal with them pretty well I think. My mother and Azar, my mentor, helped me through a lot of stuff and they sent me here to Earth to ready myself and the world to fight against my father.

Only right now I'm kinda stuck in someone else's fight. Seems this race of aliens took another alien as a slave and she escaped. First she blew up half Jump City until these three boys and I stopped her. Then she joined us and now we're inside their ship trying to keep the other aliens from blowing up the city. Rough day huh?

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so ya read and reveiw also check out my other stories: untitled and beginnings!

Angel13490


	2. Beast Within Part One

i need ideas for more chapters after this one. please help...

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Chapter Two: Beast Within

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_Gar_

Dr. Light has got to be the stupidest name for a villain I've ever heard of. Where do these people come up with this stuff? I morph into a bull to charge him head on. I'm rewarded by being slammed with an energy beam that knocks me backwards into a brick wall. I groan and return to my human form.

"-things are bout to get heavy!" Vic yells.

I groan again. Do we really have to encourage him? I wonder as I pick myself up. Victor is now trapped in a bunch of melted metal and Dr. Light is giggling, ya giggling creepy huh?, while he shoots at Starfire and Robin.

Suddenly Raven appears behind him and reaches down to grab his power suit. He whirls around, a maniac grin on his face and grabs her by the arms.

"Naughty little girl, let's see how you like traveling at the speed of light."

Raven screams in pain as she's blasted backwards, hitting the street hard and rolling a few feet before coming to a stand still a few feet from me. My vision goes red and without thinking I transform into a massive mountain lion.

"Give up Titans! None of you can see the light."

His cackling is cut short as I pounce on him, knocking him to the ground. My weight is balanced on his chest as I lower my razor sharp teeth to his face. I roar loudly, pleased as his heart rate increases and fear overtakes every other scent.

_Hunt, kill. Hunt, kill._ A voice chants in my mind and I bear my teeth in a grin. My thoughts are so simple. This man hurt one of my pack. This man is bad. This man must is a threat to my pack. This man will die.

"Beast Boy, stop!" Robin yells.

The order dimly registers in my mind but the Beast is in control now. My claws extend and I dig them into the metal suit, growling while Dr. Light screams and struggles beneath me.

"Garfield!"

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_Raven_

So we're fighting this lame-o villain named Dr. Light and we're getting our butts handed to us. I try to go in and sever his power source and next thing I know I'm eating pavement and have second-degree burns on my arms. For a few minutes I see stars then I hear a loud roar, growling and Robin shouting.I sit up and find Gar crouched over Dr. Light, his massive paws cutting off his air and his teeth inching towards his neck.

"Garfield!" I scream, thrusting out my telepathy with the cry.

I hear a gasp and the lion skitters backwards, its tail tucked between its legs. Robin rushes forward to check on Dr. Light while Vic and Starfire help me sit up. Gar transforms into a human and stares at his hands, shaking violently.

"Gar?" I ask timidly and break away from my friends to move closer to him. My hand reaches for his shoulder and instantly I feel his rage boil up again.

"Get back!" he yells, the sound is horrifying and I jerk away. He glares angrily at me then without warning morphs into a cheetah and takes off into an alley.

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"Who wants waffles?" I ask, cheerfully.

It is morning at our Tower and the whole team, excepting Gar, is sitting at the table waiting for breakfast. We took turns cooking and my day was always frozen waffles for breakfast, soup for lunch and sandwiches, pizza or macaroni for dinner. I'm not a very good cook and Earth food is different form Azarath.

"Rae you gotta learn to cook." Vic mutters as he slathers butter and syrup on his plate.

I stick my tongue out at him and look up hopefully as the doors to the common room open. Gar descends the steps, his forehead creased in a frown. He's dressed in a very dark outfit: black jeans, black muscle shirt and his normal silver gloves and black boots. I smile as he approaches the kitchen.

"Morning Gar, I made you some tofu waffles!"

His gaze flickers over to me as he opens the fridge. He's either completely emotionless or he spent the better half of the morning working out his frustrations in the gym. Judging by his freshly showered appearance I guess the latter. Without a word he pulls out a bottle of water and proceeds to down it in ten seconds.

"Are you hungry?" I try again, hoping he could sense I was trying to show forgiveness for last night's incident. Heck I know better than anyone how your emotions could get the better of you.

His eyes finally rest on mine for a moment then they travel down to my arms which are swaddled in bandages. I could heal myself but that takes time and energy and I was too tired to try. I jump nearly a foot as I hear a loud crack. The island table has suddenly developed a long dent where Gar's hand previosly rested. I look up just in time to see Gar storm out through the door.

"Maybe you should give him time to cool off." Robin says cautiously.

I stare at the table in shock. "Ya maybe…"

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_Gar_

If I'm not careful I'm going to come undone one of these days I just know it. It's happened before, right after my parents died. I was so angry and scared that I just started shifting and I couldn't stop. Luckily Rita found me and calmed me down before I could hurt myself too badly. I refused to change for weeks afterwards. That was when Steve kicked me out.

Raven was just trying to be nice I know but…that girl drives me insane. Not in an annoying way but in a I-can't-get-you-out-of-my-head-I-dream-about-you-at-night kind of way. I guess that's why I freaked out on Dr. Light. He hurt her pretty badly and seeing those bandages... I growl under my breath and all but kick down the door to the rooftop open. The air sweeps over my face and I draw in a deep breath. It was absolute madness to be staying here. One instant of carelessness and I'd probably either kill her or...

My body ripples angrily and I wrap my arms around my chest in a vain attempt to keep myself together. A strangled growl rips through my teeth and without warning I'm in the form of a huge tiger.

"Damn it!" I yowl.

"Gar?"

Raven's standing in the doorway, her face full of concern. She takes a step towards me and I shift back into a human, and pull myself out of the feline crouch slowly.

"Are you alright?"

"I…I don't know. It's hard to explain." I mutter.

She walks over to my side and looks up at me with bottomless violet eyes. Actually walking is too mundane a term. She almost seems to dance and her gaze relaxes my anger and fear into a back corner of my mind for a moment.

"Try." she folds her legs beneath her body, sinking fluidly into the lotus position, facing the sea.

I cock my head in suspicion but slowly sit next to her, stretching my legs out in front of me.

"I'm not angry with you about last night." she says quietly, watching me out of the corner of her eyes for my reaction.

"I know."

"Then why are you so upset with yourself?"

My mind whirls with a million thoughts but I simply shake my head. "It's too…"

She turns to face me and at that moment the wind kicks up, blowing her scent towards me at full force. I bite my tongue as the Beast rages inside my chest, fighting in the tight cage I've kept around him for years. I'm on my feet and running in seconds. Raven calls after me but I shut her voice out as I leap from the roof and take off in the form of a falcon.

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ok hopefully the tense for this chapter is all good because when i was writing it i kept switching back and forth...confusing! so if you see a problem let me know please :) hope you enjoyed this section, since things are switched around i'm switching the episodes too if you haven't noticed. this Beast Within is actually more like Nevermore. I'm trying to decide if i want to do a Terra one (where Terra would become a boy and Raven would fall for...him?) or a Malchior one or such like it. Or an original perhaps? I'm not sure. Let me know!


	3. Beast Within Part Two

ok this has turned out to be a LOT different than i thought it would be. Just for the record I'm trying to base this more off of Nevermor than The Beast Within since i switched the roles. I'm still stuck on whether to do Birthmark, the Prophecy or something new all together. I've dismissed the Malchior or Terra idea as Raven's personality switch wouldn't allow for full affect with those two. I'm still mulling it over. In the meanwhile please enjoy this chapter!!

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Beast Within: Part Two

_Raven_

I sat on the rooftop for over an hour, trying to determine if I wanted to go after Gar but finally I decide against it for the moment. He was angry with himself and I could sense doubt and fear as well. The downside to being an empath is sensing someone's emotions is empathy doesn't tell you _why_ someone's feeling them. Being a telepath I could find out but I have morals so there's another dead end there…

I am torn out of my thoughts as the alarm begins to whine and I immediately teleport into the common room. Whatever problems Garfield is going through they will have to be dealt with later.

Inside the common room Robin is finishing up a conversation with the police chief while Starfire and Victor wait nearby. I join them as Robin turns to us.

"Something is causing problems throughout the city. Witnesses said it looks like a giant ape or something. The Chief wants us to take a look at it and see if we can bring it down." he pauses for a beat, "Where's Gar?"

Everyone turns to me and I shake my head. "He…he's still upset about last night."

The Boy Wonder dissects this in his head before nodding and continuing to brief us on our plan of action. We'd be splitting up to the different scenes where the creature had been spotted. Starfire to the canyon hiking trail, Cyborg to the warehouse distract outside of town, me to the nearby wildlife park and himself to the sewers; we were all ordered sternly to call in if we found anything odd or if we spotted the creature.

"Be careful." Robin said as we headed out.

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_Cyborg_

"Little spiky haired punk..." I mutter as I drive down the street. My car has an illusion control so what people see is just an old junker but for some reason it makes me bristle that Robin would choose to send me down here. Maybe he thinks I have experience with this area of town or something. He's such a stereotyper.

I pause outside one of the buildings and peer out of my tinted windows. One of the doors to the warehouses has been completely ripped off its hinges. I park my car and get out, my hands tensed for action as I enter into the darkened building. Automatically a light pops out of my shoulder and I scan the area. Seems to be just a lot of crates and boxes; a few are toppled over but there's no actual damage. Cautiously I call in to Robin's com-link.

"What's up Vic?"

"I found a warehouse down here that was broken into but it doesn't look like anything's been stolen."

"Anything unusual?"

"Not that I can see. The door's been busted through but other than that everything looks pretty normal to me."

"Alright, take another quick sweep then go meet up with Raven. I'm almost done here, I'll catch up with Star and I'll give you a location to regroup in."

I nod and cut the call off. I flip off my light and start towards the door but suddenly a huge lumbering figure blocks my way. I plant my feet and draw out my sonic cannon, my heart's going about ninety miles an hour as I watch the shadow carefully. Like the witnesses said it looks like an ape but it also seems more…catlike maybe?

"Outta the way." I order, unsure if it can understand me.

Without warning the beast charges, I let out a shot but it dodges and is about to land on top of me when suddenly it changes direction in midair and lands atop a pile of crates. I aim my cannon again but it's already on the move, tearing its way through the warehouse. I take off after it but slow to a cautious walk, cannon drawn and at the ready, as I hear a loud crash and a ray of light illuminates the dank space.

When I reach the end I find a giant hole where the wall once was and no creature. I pop my head out of the hole and see nothing but empty streets. With a growl I sprint back to my car and throw it into gear, dialing the com-links as I fly down the streets.

"I just had an encounter with the thing. It's big, mean and fast. Robin, I'm heading over towards Raven's position; you'd probably go meet up with Starfire and we'll track this thing together."

"Roger Dodger, I'll stay put." Raven says

"Affirmed," Starfire chimes in. "I shall await Robin's arrival."

"On my way." the Boy Wonder replies, his voice is muffled from his motorcycle helmet.

I hit the gas and race towards the edge of town. Something in my gut is giving me a bad feeling about that creature. I shake it off and track Raven's position on my computer screen.

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_Starfire_

I am sitting atop a rock by the canyon trail enjoying the sun. My people are a race of warriors and one of our only weaknesses is our connection with the sun. If I am cut off from it for more than three days my starbolts and strength nearly vanish and I cannot harness the joy of flight. Cyborg says that I am solar-powered and for some reason Raven found this funny. Earth is very confusing sometimes.

I hear Robin's motorcycle nearby and I take flight. He is not able to climb the trail with it so I fly through the trees and find him sitting in the parking lot. He smiles at me but I can tell he is scanning the terrain carefully.

"Has Cyborg reached Raven yet?" I ask.

"No, he's still about fifteen minutes away. We're meeting them there though, it shouldn't take us very long." he pauses and looks towards a nearby clump of trees. Without a word he dismounts the bike and is shedding his helmet. I quickly follow him, my starbolts at the ready.

Quite suddenly a large animal pounces from the dim grove and I throw a starbolt at it, instinctively. Impossibly, it dodges and lands in front of me, teeth are bared. I let out a yell and fire another blast at the creature. This time I strike and it howls angrily, snapping its jaws like an injured baby Gathkorf

"What is your purpose?" I demand.

"Look out!"

Robin suddenly tackles me from the air as the creature lunges towards me. I recover in midair and fly upwards, Robin still holding me around my waist. I sigh in relief then scream as I feel a pair of paws clasp around my legs.

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_Robin_

This thing must weigh a ton, is my first thought as we plummet to the ground. Starfire's stronger than anyone on the planet, maybe even stronger than Clark and yet we're falling. I land in a gymnast roll, springing to my feet with only a twitch in my ankle. Meanwhile Starfire hits the ground hard, creating a small crater. I run forward and throw an explosive smoke disk at the beast, covering myself as I check on Starfire.

Unfortunately the thing seems to have expected this and plucks me from the smoke, throwing me into a nearby tree. My vision spins crazily as I stagger forward. Starfire hasn't moved from the crater and I grit my teeth angrily. I open a pouch on my belt but I can't find the creature anywhere. It seems to have disappeared.

My knees suddenly give way and as I hit my head, yet again, blackness overwhelms me.

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_Raven_

I'm perched up in a tree, waiting for Vic. It's really a nice park out here. We should eat out here sometime. I smile contentedly and swing my legs back and forth. My brooch chimes to let me know Vic is closing in but looking down I can't seem to find him.

"Rae! Look out!"

I teleport blindly and end up in another tree about five yards away. Where I was once sitting there is now a huge Bigfoot looking thing. Vic is below me, aiming his cannon. Bigfoot roars at him then takes an impossible leap at me. I fly down to Victor, grabbing his hand I ready myself to open another portal but suddenly the creature is in front of us and I revert to my soul-self. For a moment I'm utterly lost. Two other lights have followed me into my astral plane. One is electric blue, pulsing with energy like a heartbeat. The other is a dull green with some sort of blackness glowing from the inside out. Panicking, I teleport once more; using up the last of my strength.

"Oof!" Victor hits the ground hard, a few feet away from me and I barely manage to save myself from a similar fate by concentrating enough to slow my descent. Still the impact knocks the air from my lungs and I roll a good ten feet before coming to a stop.

"Man. What the heck just happened?" Vic asks, sitting up and rubbing his head.

"My fault, I lost focus and my powers reacted on experience. I'm usually not touching people when I go astral like that though."

"When you go what now?"

"Astral. It's like…never mind it's too complicated to explain." I mutter as I carefully examine my body with my powers. A few bruises and a popped shoulder are quickly fixed and I get to my feet.

"Ok…where are we?" Vic asks.

Instead of standing in the middle of a damp forest in the middle of the day we're in the middle of a jungle. It seems to be daytime but I can't tell through the trees. Sounds of animals bombard us from all around and I draw closer to Victor.

"I have no idea. There's no way I could've teleported us to South America. The most I could've done was about ten or fifteen yards." I pause as something growls in the underbrush.

"My sensors are offline." he mutters tapping the built in screen on his arm. "I'm not getting any reading on anything. Maybe we should just find a safe spot and wait until you've got enough strength to get us out of here. I think I hear a river over in that direction, maybe there will be someone who can tell us where we are."

I nod and follow him into the trees, trying to shake the feeling that I'm being watched.

We reach the river and amazingly enough there is a small hut on the other side. Unfortunately, when we search it, it is abandoned and gives us no information as to where we are. I plop down on a rock while Vic paces.

"Ok so if you brought us here what are the options?"

"Huh?"

"Where could we be?" he clarifies.

I ponder this for a moment, "Well we could have just teleported to some strange location but I doubt that since I didn't have enough strength for it. We could be stuck in another dimension that I was passing through. We could be stuck in my mind; or your mind for that matter. Or-"

"Wait back up! Stuck in our minds? What the heck does that mean?!"

"Every person has some type of world inside their mind. Of course normal people can't access it so they don't notice it. I can. So it's quite possible I dragged our astral forms into my mind. However this doesn't look like my world nor yours."

Victor's human eye suddenly widens, "We're in that thing's mind!"

"Thank you so much for that lovely introduction."

I jump at the sound of the foreign voice while Vic draws his sonic cannon. To our surprise it is Gar was is speaking. He's standing at the edge of the forest, his expression angry as he examines us.

"You mind telling me what's going on?!" Victor demands, still aiming at Gar's head.

"Raven pulled you into my mind." the metahuman growls as he stalks forward, "And right now is _not _a good time for you to be here."

"Wait, how do you know all this? You're not a telepath." I ask, forgetting our situation for the moment.

Gar's ears pull back angrily, "My old team leader from the Doom Patrol was. He taught me how to use this place." his arms fold across his chest as he looks up at the sky. "Only right now I'm sort of stuck in here."

"So wait…you're the beast? You're who we've been fighting?" Victor asks.

A nod.

"But how?"

"My powers gave me animal abilities and instincts including the more…primal ones. Mento helped me harness these primal thoughts and feelings and sort of cage them. After awhile these things took on a form. Sometimes that form gets the better of me and I transform into that…_thing_."

Victor's eye twitches in confusion.

"The Beast represents the primal side of your mind. You, right now, represent the human side." I sum up. "You're stuck until the primal side gets whatever it wants or lets its guard down so your human instincts can take over again."

Gar nods then his head suddenly snaps up. "We need to move."

"What? Why?"

"It's coming this way. You guys need to hide while I take care of it."

"We can help you."

The changeling snorts loudly at me and my temper flares up. "Hey I've had experience with this kind of stuff before alright?"

"Right because Little Miss Sunshine knows what it's like to have some great thing inside of you that could rip everyone to shreds at any given moment." Gar sneers at me, all his teeth bared, "Don't pretend to understand me Raven."

I scowl and for a moment I'm sure my eyes and cloak flash red but if the boys notice they say nothing. A scathing retort is on my tongue but Gar's head swivels around again and he moves down into a crouch, ready to pounce.

"If you're going to stay just shut up and try not to get in my way."

Victor and I stand a few feet back as we watch the trees. I can sense something getting closer but I can't pick out any definite emotions or thoughts. Vic shifts his weight so he's in front of me, protecting me I guess, as a loud crash comes from ahead. I hold my breath as a figure breaks from the shadow…

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DUN DUN DUUUH....! ya cliffy i could've gone on longer but it seems to make more sense this way. hope you anjoyed and let me know if you have any ideas for a Raven arc! Also check out my other stories: Untitled (Xmen evolution focusing on the Brotherhood) and Beginnings (an X-men evo and TT AU xover)

Lata


	4. Beast Within Part Three

ok this part is kinda short. hope you guys enjoy. im seriously considering creating a fullfledged story out of this with maybe some sideflings (one of which i have already written and will probably post as a oneshot) along with some shots about the other Titans in this new AU such as KF and Jinx ;D so anyway enjoy and check for a new oneshot soon. It will contain Gar mostly as well as Terran who will fill in as Terra for me :D

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Beast Within: Part Three

_Raven_

I stare at the newcomer dumbfounded. By my side Victor is also gaping, his mouth hanging open slightly in confusion.

About twenty feet away stands a man who for all intents and purposes looks exactly like Garfield Logan who's standing on my left, his fangs bared. This stranger is green from head to toe, has the same lazy green spikes and sharp emerald eyes. He is taller, more muscular and there is harshness to his emotions and brazenness to his thoughts that my Gar does not possess but…they look the same. Both are wearing black jeans, black shirt and black gloves. The Beast suddenly gives me a predatory grin and my Gar snarls angrily.

"Stop."

"Why? They're your thoughts too you know."

Without warning Gar springs forward, his body morphing into a wolf. The Beast makes the same transformation and dodges aside, growling loudly. The two creatures circle each other and suddenly the Beast lunges forward causing Gar to dance backwards out of reach. He transforms into a falcon as screeches as the Beast does so too.

My eyes narrow slightly as I watch the twosome. Obviously Gar can hold his own against this figment but I still wince every time he gets hit. Victor's hands are balled into fists at his side as he watches his friend and teammate.

As I watch two stags grapple each other with their antlers anger suddenly blazes though my system. My eyes glow white and I chant silently in my head, hoping not to distract the Beast. Victor sees my eyes and takes a few cautious steps away from me. I carefully focus the energy buried in my mind and take aim.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" I yell throwing a blast of telepathic energy at the Beast. Gar barely dodges out of the way and his opponent goes flying through the air, smashing into several trees before coming to a stop. I lower my hands while Victor opens up his sonic cannon.

In a flash the Beast is up and moving. In human form he rushes Victor and delivers a spinning kick to his chest, throwing the cyborg back and dazing him for a few minutes. He leaps towards me and I clench my teeth, shoving a physic wall at him. It works fairly effectively and gives Gar a chance to tackle him.

"Coward!" the Beast suddenly yells, planting his feet into Gar's chest and shoving hard.

My green friend is tossed into the air but quickly transforms into a humming bird. The Beast yowls as he is forced to also make the same transformation. I quickly throw up a shield around him, as Gar and he return to human form I pull it skintight around his body, my hands trembling with effort to hold it.

* * *

_Gar_

I pull myself to my feet trying not to wince as I do. Raven is holding my primal self inside a shield of some sort but she's obviously having trouble doing it. The Beast sneers at me and flexes against the shield. Raven's forehead creases in concentration and a soft grunt reaches my ears.

He was _hurting _her.

I roar loudly and tackle the Beast straight out of Raven's shield. He gives a yelp of surprise as I pin him beneath me and press a knee into his throat. Quickly the look of fear becomes smug however and he chokes out a laugh.

"Don't try to fool yourself Gar." he says softly, so only I can hear it. "How much longer can you control yourself? A year? A month? A week? A day? An hour?"

My muscles tighten angrily and I punch him in the jaw. He rolls with the blow then bucks me off, spinning so now I'm pinned beneath him. I lift my lips in a snarl and the buzz of Vic's sonic cannon reaches my ears. He's afraid to shoot, afraid to hurt me, I feel strangely comforted by this fact although I'm not sure why.

"You're pathetic." the Beast growls, glaring at me.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" Raven screams.

A huge tree slams into my opponent, missing me by only a few millimeters. I jump to my feet and cover my ears as Victor lets a blast of sonic energy hit my primal self. Raven's hand touches my shoulder and I turn to look at her. Her face is worried and scared and I instantly know I could _never_ harm this girl. It would hurt me too much.

I'm torn from my thoughts as the Beast tears through the jungle and tackles me again. The wind is knocked from my lungs and we wrestle for control while my friends look on in fear.

* * *

_Raven_

Gar and the Beast are trying to tear each other apart but I can't get a long enough look at them to make a shot. Victor is having the same problem as he follows the fight.

"Enough!" Gar suddenly yells slamming the Beast into a tree. Despite his alter ego's larger size and formidable strength he seems to manage it quite easy. "You are not in control of me."

The Beast roars angrily but Gar slams his head back into the bark, silencing him fairly effectively.

"My name is Garfield Mark Logan. I am human. I am not an animal." Gar shouts in his face and to my surprise the Beast lets out an audible whimper and his ears draw back in fear. Gar however is undaunted and continues to speak only now I can't understand the language. It sounds vaguely like African but it is a dialect unknown to me. The Beast seems to be growing smaller and smaller. Gar pulls himself up to his full height and speaks a few final words. There is a soft howl as the Beast vanishes into a green mist which floats into Gar's chest. He staggers backwards, holding his head and Victor catches him easily.

"You okay man?"

Gar nods, keeping his eyes closed. I reach out carefully and touch his hand. His emerald eyes open and he smiles, fangs and all at me. "Thank you…friends."

Victor and I look at each other curiously. Gar has never called us friends before. In fact he's made it quite clear we are nothing more than teammates before. But here he is smiling and as happy as can be.

Slowly the world around us begins to fizzle and we find ourselves standing in the middle of the Jump City Wildlife Reserve.

"Well…that was interesting." Vic says awkwardly.

"I'll say." Gar's smile has died to a slight twitch of his lips.

"Should we call Robin and Starfire? Let them know what happened?" I ask, watching Gar's expression carefully.

"I suppose. They'll be worried after all; I think I gave them a pretty good scare back at the canyon."

Victor nods and opens his com-link.

* * *

A light summer wind swirls around the rooftop, playing with my hair as I watch the sunset. I've changed out of my cloak and leotard, opting for shorts and one of Victor's old t-shirts. The orange light turns the water below me in a fiery lake and I perch my chin atop my knees, as I watch the sun slip behind the canyons on the other side of the bay.

"Raven?"

I don't even turn my head as I motion Gar to join me. He sits without a sound and watches the sky politely although I can tell he is fidgeting, wanting to talk. Finally the sun disappears from sight and I turn my head towards him.

His green eyes are dancing even thought they're nervous. The ever protruding fang is glinting madly and I find myself lost staring at him as he begins to speak.

"I just wanted you to know if…my thoughts while you were in my mind…" he pauses and his face turns an odd mixture of green and pink. " I'm very sorry. My animal instincts…they make me react to things stronger than a normal person. Sometimes I just can't help myself and even though it's a terrible excuse it's all I have."

Part of me had wished more than anything for the infatuation I'd sensed to be more than just primal thoughts but I wouldn't push him. That was the last thing he needed at this point in his life. So I settle for a sad smile and a few words of comfort and acceptance before I turn away, letting the conversation fade.

* * *

_Gar_

My mouth is dry and my hands are shaking. I can tell she's sad but this is the way it has to be. I can't be with her. I know I would never hurt her physically but emotionally being with me would not be good for her. She needs a nice normal guy that can make her laugh and not burden her with his emotional crap. But still I wish…

"Garfield?"

"Yes?"

"Are we…friends?"

I pause and mull the question over as I stare into the rapidly approaching night. Love was something unattainable, out of the question and extremely dangerous. But friendship? Friendship was safe, I could protect her as her friend, I could comfort her as a friend, and I could make her laugh once in awhile to see her smile as any good friend should do. Friendship would be good. But it would stop there.

"Yes. I know I don't act like it but you are my friend."

She nods slowly, her face thoughtful. I watch her and find myself smiling as her expression changes slowly. Finally she smiles back at me and gives me a soft peck on the cheek.

"Thank you Gar." she whispers before disappearing a cloud of black smoke.

With a groan I fall back on the rooftop.

_Friendship might be harder than it looks._

thats all for now! keep giving me ideas and i may use them!! also watch out for a new oneshot!

* * *


	5. Days Go By: Part 1

sorry i haven't updated in awhile. my muse went on an unplanned extended vacation . anyway here's a piece to the puzzle i think i know where im going with this sotry but not quite sure yet. i have some ends to tweak to part two and then it should be up in a few days. also if you havne't already check out my other fics. They will all be updated soon i promise :D ejoy!  
A/N: in this fic as it is an AU Roy Harper is a girl. Do not be alarmed!! In Quoth the Beast i may switch bac around to make Aqualad Aqua_lass_. I just can't do slash but i love Roy/Garth. I'll let you know :D anyway on with the show!

Days Go By

_

* * *

_

Gar

Titans East is a loud bunch. Karen's always yelling at everyone, Mas and Menos are always running around like madmen, Roy's always fighting with Karen or Robin and Garth…well he's getting on my last nerve right now.

The Atlantian is standing waist deep in the bay, grinning from ear to ear. A few feet away Robin, Starfire and Victor are organizing an attack. Karen is plotting with Raven while Garth looks on silently.

"If looks could kill…" Roy mutters at my side. She's stretched out in the sun on a towel, sunglasses protecting her green eyes. Her short red hair fans out like fire, matching the red and gold bikini she's wearing.

"Lay off."

The archer shrugs and takes a swig of Coke. I shift uncomfortably. I'm lying on my back, propped up on my elbows as I watch my friends prepare for an epic water fight. Everyone except for me has long ago shed their clothes and are parading around in swimsuits. My lip lifts involuntarily as Garth gives Raven a high-five.

"If he's bothering you so much why don't you do something about it?"

"I'm not bothered." I spit.

Raven's head suddenly swings around and even though I drop my eyes I know she's looking straight at me. I silently thank Mento for teaching me how to shield my mind from prying telepaths. Much as I didn't like the guy he did show some good tricks.

"She's staring at you."

"I know."

Roy takes another drink and I look over at her to avoid Raven. Why can't I fall for someone like Roy? She's drop dead gorgeous for one thing, smart, brave, cocky, moody and can probably kick my ass from here to Gotham without even breaking a sweat.

"Quit staring at me green genes, you're creeping me out."

And her sarcastic wit…_such_ a joy.

I look up as the battle begins but can't really take much interest in it. I'm too busy making sure Raven's safe. She's grown her hair out a little bit, almost past her shoulders now and it's swept up elegantly into a high ponytail. Her pale skin is flaunted by a solid black Speedo as she sends a huge wave of water towards Victor.

"You're hopeless." Roy sighs.

_

* * *

_

Raven

I wish Gar would come and join us. Usually he likes these kinds of things. But instead he's sitting on the beach with Roy, talking to her in quiet tones all the while watching me like an eagle. And of course he's thrown up that stupid wall that means he doesn't want me poking around in his thoughts. I _could_ just break it but that might leave him in a coma for a few days.

I turn my attention back to the planning with Garth and Karen. Karen is always so serious about these things, she's got a competitive streak to rival Victor's and they're even worse when they're competing against each other. Garth is just smiling as usual, his dark eyes flickering over to me every few moments which I try to ignore.

Why couldn't I fall for someone like Garth? He was handsome, no doubt, very intelligent, one of the most self-sacrificing people I've ever met, calm as can be and such a gentleman. He's had a few impolite thoughts about me so far but every time they come calling he begins thinking about some garbled science mess that makes my head spin so fast that by the time I unravel it he's onto a different topic, his former thoughts all but forgotten.

"Ready to go, Raven?"

But there's no spark in his eyes, no passion to his emotions, nothing like the wild unbridled thoughts and emotions that I can catch a glimpse of from Gar when he doesn't watch himself too closely.

"Ready when you guys are."

Karen gins excitedly and takes flight above our heads while Garth rests his palms on the water calmly. I smile and ready myself for the fight to begin. Robin made a dire mistake when he paired Garth and me together.

_

* * *

_

Gar

Laughter bubbles out of Roy's mouth as she watches our friends try to drown each other. Garth and Raven send wave after wave at the opposite team while Karen shoots down their various attack. Suddenly an ice bomb of Robin's hits the water around Garth, effectively freezing him in place and taking him out of the game. He smashes through the ice in frustration while Robin laughs.

Starfire catapults into the water from above, sending a tidal wave towards Raven who simply teleports out of the way. The redhead twists impossibly in midair to avoid a barrage of water balls courtesy of Raven. She dives into the water, disappearing from sight while Raven dodges some shots from Victor's high powered water gun.

"Heads up Sparky!" Karen yells as she electrocutes the water around him. Victor yelps in surprise as his systems flicker on and off until he finally calls uncle and swims to shore, looking annoyed.

Teams now even, Robin squares off against Raven while the other two girls fight in the sky. I lean backwards as Victor and Garth join us on the sand. Victor is twitching slightly but looks more irritated than hurt. Garth is frowning as he watches the girls.

"Little pest." Victor stutters.

I slap him hard on the back which seems to help while Roy laughs as Garth plops down next to her.

"Aw did the big bad Aqualad get beaten by the little Robin?" she teases.

He rolls his eyes slightly, "Unlike you Roy I can loose graciously. Besides Raven will extract revenge for me."

Roy sneers slightly, "Bull crap Fish-Boy. I kick your ass everyday in video games and you throw a fit every time. You're just being nice 'cause you don't want Miss Roth out there to see your nasty side."

Garth turns bright red the same time as my lips part in a snarl. Suddenly all eyes are on me and I fold my arms over my chest, staring hard at the sand.

"You got a problem?" Garth demands, his embarrassment fueling his anger.

My gaze flickers back to Victor. He looks severely confused but his expression is begging me not to make a scene at the same time. I sigh quietly, "No problem."

"I think there is." Garth dares, moving forward, "You've been eyeing Raven all afternoon like you own her and it's getting on my nerves. There isn't a thing wrong with me wanting to be around her or liking her."

My fists tremble angrily and it takes a pretty impressive amount of control to keep my mouth shut. _There is something wrong with it! She's mine not yours. I love her you don't. She deserves better than both of us but if she wants me I'd do anything for her._ My thoughts are so jumbled and angry that I just focus on breathing instead.

"Not like she'd go for you anyway."

_

* * *

_

Raven

There's a roar of outrage from the beach and I whirl away from Robin to look at a growing confrontation. A loud yelp of pain kicks me into action. I grab ahold of Robin's arm and teleport us to shore.

Garth is lying on the sand, his pale lips swelling horribly as blood trickles down from his broken nose. I flicker my gaze over to Gar, his emotions are like fire he's so angry but I can tell he's mostly angry he _didn't_ punch Garth. Now I turn to Roy who's rubbing her fist as she stands over the Atlantian.

"You…you hit me!" Garth yells angrily.

"Oh don't be such a baby. You're lucky it was me and not Garfield. You'd have a lot worse than a broken nose and some bruises. Now quit bleeding and apologize to green genes."

"What in the world is going on here?" Robin and Karen demand at the same time.

Roy smiles innocently. "Just a minor misunderstanding guys."

_

* * *

_

Gar

I let out a shaky breath as Robin and Karen chew Roy out. Garth is perched atop a hospital bed in the medical bay with about five Kleenexes shoved up his nose which Raven reset so you could never tell it had been broken. I touch my own crooked nose unconsciously as I watch my friends.

"-unacceptable behavior Roy! You need to learn to control your temper." Karen raves.

Roy takes it all with a pleasant smile which only makes the leaders scream all the more. I snort in annoyance and stand up, clearing my throat loudly to get their attention.

"Leave her alone, guys."

"I want an explanation!"

My ears flatten of their own accord as Robin pokes my chest threateningly. Stupid alpha-male instincts are making me want to throw him into the wall before he knows what hit him.

"Gar."

My teeth clench and instinctively I throw up my wall as Raven's hand brushes my arm but I can tell I'm not fast enough and her purple eyes widen in shock.

Damn.

"Raven?"

The sorceress waves away Robin's concerns. "Let it go Robin. No one was hurt." she says as she walks out of the room.

"What about me?!" Garth whines from the table.

"Stow it Fish-Boy." Roy snarls and instantly the arguing begins anew.

_

* * *

_

Raven

Dear Azar

A fight.

Just a stupid fight.

Over me.

The pale darkness is closing in fast on the remaining daylight. My room is bathed in the gentle light of the sunset outside my window but for now it goes ignored and unappreciated for my thoughts are racing around in circles in my head.

Gar thought Aqualad was _flirting _with me. That made him angry along with Garth saying that I would never want him. A tear sprang to my eye as I felt the hurt and anger once more through my memories. And yet through my confusion I couldn't help but be proud of him, never once had there been any hint of the Beast, except when Robin had confronted him but that was normal.

My thoughts slowly turned to the end of the circle which was the most frightening part.

Gar _loved_ me.

It's difficult to describe the way I feel emotions. It's more like tasting them I think. Anger is bitter and sharp like whiskey, Joy is like the sweetest candy, Sadness is tasteless but still biting, and Love…love had many tastes as do all the emotions. Affection is like warm cinnamon rolls, Lust is like truffles and Love is like honey straight from the hive.

Gar tasted like a cinnamon truffle drizzled in honey with the sharp biting taste of Envy and Anger all mixed in.

Dear Azar.

_

* * *

_

Gar

The water is cool and clear around me, my eyesight is perfect as my tail pushes me powerfully up and out of the water into a perfect flip then back into the water with barely a splash.

"Friend Garfield?"

I pop my head out of the water to find Starfire standing on the beach. I morph into a human and swim over to join her.

"Hey Starfire."

"Hello my friend. I just came to make sure you were alright."

I shrug and fetch my towel from a nearby rock to dry my hair.

"Robin sends his apologies for his actions."

"Of course." I say sarcastically.

"He will apologize in the course of a few days Garfield."

I nod.

Starfire bites her lip nervously and as I turn to walk into the Tower her hand descends gently on my wrist. "Please…I would speak with you."

Obediently I stop and watch her.

"I wish to talk to you about Raven." she pauses and watches my face before continuing, "I may be an alien Garfield but I am not stupid. Tameranians are very in tune with the emotions around them. I know you care deeply for her and you want her badly and yet you still deny yourself. I wish to understand why."

More than anything right now I want to run away. Or dodge around the question until Starfire leaves me alone but somehow I can tell that's not going to work tonight.

"I never thought you were stupid Starfire."

"You are avoiding my question."

I sigh heavily and sit down on a rock. "Raven's…she's my world. I would do anything to keep her safe and happy. Even if that means I'm nothing more to her than a friend."

A soft hand descends upon my shoulder as Starfire sits down next to me. I will never understand how she could settle for a man like Robin when she deserves so much more. But I guess when you love someone you don't really care who it is or what they're like.

"And Raven now understands your feelings?"

"Ya."

"I see. This puts you in a very uncomfortable position."

"Ya."

Starfire ponders this for a second then claps her hands loudly, "Well there is no use moping about on the beach. You must go and ask her what she feels."

"Huh?"

"It is no good to keep your feelings bottled up inside. Emotions are wonderful things that are meant to be expressed and enjoyed. Even anger has its joys and purposes. I could not generate my starbolts if I did not feel righteous fury. You would not be so driven to prove yourself if it were not for your internal anger."

I stare in utter amazement at the beautiful girl before me. Her green eyes are shining bright and light almost seems to radiate form her skin. Starfire may be an alien and very naïve but she has a way of seeing the world that makes everything seem so simple, she's like a small child stuck in a woman's body.

"Come friend, there is not a moment to loose!

I yelp in surprise as Starfire takes ahold of my arm and we fly up into the air, reaching the top of the Tower within moments. She dashes over to the door and flinging it open, proceeds to drag me along until we reach Raven's door.

"I shall leave you in privacy. Do not waste such an opportunity." she whispers before flying off down the hallway.

I stare at the door in front of me for a few minutes and try to screw up my courage to knock. As a general rule I don't like to intrude on my friend's privacy although they seem to have no problem with intruding on _my_ privacy. My hand lifts and raps at the door gently, my ears straining to pick out any sound inside but I can't hear anything.

"Raven?" I call softly, knocking again.

* * *

again sorry it tooke so long. Part two will be up in a few days! Reveiw please!!!

* * *


	6. Days Go By: Part 2

**A/N: okay here's part two. I'm not real happy with the ending. I tried about five different things but none of them seemed right. So i just kinda settled for the least lame one. Anyway this is the start to their relationship. I'll be doing a brief thing about Raven and how she'll deal with Trigon but after that I'm going to do a variation of Season Five with Beast Boy. Not sure how that will look yet but im open to suggestions...  
Enjoy! R&R!**

* * *

Days Go By

_Raven_

I trudge down the hallway, feeling like an utter fool. Of course Gar wouldn't be in his room, the only purpose it served was to keep his clothes in order. Unless it got extremely cold he slept outside on the beach or the roof, where he didn't feel so confined.

But I was too much of a coward to search him out. It was so much easier to ignore the facts and pretend nothing had ever happened.

I round the corner and hear someone call my name faintly. Instinctively my head lifts and I see Gar standing at my doorway, with his hands thrust into his pockets, staring at the ground.

"-just wanted to talk to you and say sorry. I understand if you're kinda weirded out by what happened but if it's a big deal I…I can leave. Maybe go live with the Titans East or something. But let me try not to…" he pauses and a tear rolls off his cheekbone onto the carpet, "I can try Rae. I promise I will. Just give me a chance."

My heart almost breaks right then and there. He would deny his own happiness just for me. I spring over to him, throwing my arms around him in an awkward sort of hug. He grunts in surprise, jerking away roughly. He backs up to a wall, his ears pinned back as a loud growl works its way through his chest.

Surprised I jump backwards, holding my hands up submissively. "Gar?"

"Jesus Christ Rae! Don't do that!" he yells angrily.

"Sorry."

He leans back against the wall and we stare at each other for a few moments. I bite my lip and move my gaze to the floor, Gar shifts uncomfortably across from me. His mind is whirling but I politely stay out, letting him form his own words.

"That is why I need to stay away from you." he whispers.

"What?"

"I'm not safe Rae. I could've killed you right now just because you surprised me a little bit. I'm not in control of myself. I'm dangerous." he pauses and rage fills his mind, "I'm an animal okay?"

My hand flies out and strikes him harshly across the face. He staggers backwards in surprise and stares at me wide-eyed while I try to reign in my emotions. Black power crackles around my body in an attempt to escape.

"Don't _ever _say that again."

"Rae…"

"You are _not_ an animal Garfield. Animals don't feel like you do. Animals go on instinct not emotion. You are prepared to deny yourself everything just to protect me. Well in case you haven't noticed…" black energy wraps itself around his clothes and slams him hard into my door. He grunts in pain and glares at me angrily. "I don't need protecting."

"You have no idea what I'm capable of."

My eyes burn white and in an instant we've teleported out to the opposite side of Jump City Bay. We're standing atop a cliff, over one hundred feet from the ocean below. I drop Gar into the dirt and cross my arms over my chest.

"Do your worst." I dare him.

"Rae…don't do this." he growls.

"I'm not afraid of you!"

"Maybe you should be."

A nearby boulder explodes into a million pieces. Gar jumps nearly two feet in the air and turns to stare at me while I try to regain my control.

_

* * *

_

Gar

I've never seen Rae like this. Sure sometimes stuff explodes when she gets annoyed at Robin or loses at a video game with Victor but…she's straight up pissed at me. Little lightning bolts are crackling all over her body, exploding with soft pops every other second. I look out over the bay and wait patiently.

"Damn it Gar!"

I turn around only to be picked up and thrown against the canyon wall. My head hits the rock and for a few seconds my vision spins angrily but finally I can see Raven standing in front of me, her eyes glowing white with anger.

"Let me go!"

"Not until we figure this out! You can't just expect me to let this go just like that."

"Don't you get it Rae? I'm not good for you. I can't be what you deserve."

_

* * *

_

Raven

Tears fill my eyes and my powers slip as I try to force them away. Gar lands gently on his feet as I rub at my eyes pathetically.

"This is just the way it has to be." he whispers, and I can feel his heart breaking with every word. Tears stream down my face as I stare at the dirt.

"But…I want you." I whisper.

I can hear his breath hitch slightly and a load of emotions spin through his head.

"No."

"Gar…"

"I won't put you in danger Raven! It's not fair for me to be so wonderfully happy when you're putting your very life at risk by being with me."

"We put our lives at risk by being heroes Gar. It's no different."

He is silent.

I look up.

Dear Azar this boy is gorgeous. His eyes are angry and wild as he glares at the ocean. Every part of his body is tense, ready to fight back against his internal struggles. His body is hard and lean from the years of living on the streets and in the African jungle. He glances down at me and I nearly melt right then and there from the severity of his emotions. I close my eyes, savoring the rare moment of freedom. Suddenly he cuts me off and grabs my arm, pulling me roughly to my feet.

"Don't do that!" he snarls.

"I'm not doing anything!"

He's fuming, so frustrated he can't even speak. His fangs glint madly in the moonlight and his breath comes across my face. He smells like mint toothpaste and the ocean. I lean forward and he recoils with a growl.

"Stop!"

"Make me!" I retort.

_

* * *

_

Gar

My legs are shaking I'm so scared. Standing not even a full foot from me is the girl of my dreams. As cliché as it sounds I seriously think she can hear my heart, I can hear hers for sure. She's watching me, gauging my emotions even though the wall. I scowl.

With careful slowness she reaches up and places her hand on my cheek. I should jerk away, keep her at a safe distance but instead I turn my head to touch the inside of her wrist with my nose. She smells so good, like rose water and the lemon oil she uses to fight off her migraines. I inhale deeper and feel her other hand brush my jaw line. I lean forward; I can feel her breath on my lips as I reach for her…

"No!" I scream pulling away and grabbing at the wall, desperately.

Her eyes flash with tears as she stares imploringly at me.

"Raven…you can't…" I gasp for breath, trying to clear my head. "You can't _do _that. I…I just can't handle it. Please."

"Gar…"

"No!"

"Gar, please just listen to me. I…I want to try. Please?"

_

* * *

_

Raven

I hold my breath as he stares at me. He's crouched low, his arms spread out along the wall as if he's keeping himself open for me to attack him. As I take a step towards him I can see his muscle spasm as he forces himself to stay still.

"Gar…"

"Stop!"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes…but-"

I move forward another step, effectively silencing him. He stares at me warily.

"If I can deal with Slade, Brother Blood, and hundreds of other villains what makes you think I can't handle you?"

His brow furrows slightly but I can tell he's at least considering me now. His arms lower down to his sides. I take another step.

"It won't work."

"Why?"

There isn't a reply. Only a sad sort of whine as I move closer.

_

* * *

_

Gar

She's only about two feet away. I can cross that in one step. She stops and holds out her hand to me.

"Please?"

My wall breaks into a million pieces and I know it's over. Whether I like it or not she's won and I've lost. Gently I take ahold of her hand, marveling at its softness as I always do. A smile tweaks at her lips and very deliberately she closes the distance between us and wraps her arms around my middle. Instinctively I stiffen, not sure how to react.

"It's just a hug silly."

I growl which makes her laugh.

"Big scary Beast Boy, afraid of a little hug." she teases.

With a snort I sweep her up into my arms, she weighs almost nothing, and spin her slowly in a circle like all the cheesy Valentine's Day commercials. I set her down carefully, feeling very stupid and awkward as she stares up at me with those gorgeous eyes of hers.

"You think my eyes are gorgeous?"

"Stay out of my head."

"You're so open. I'm not used to it." she smiles brightly and hugs me again, tucking her head beneath my chin perfectly. "But I like it."

I sigh in defeat and hug her back. She fits in my arms just right even though I'm a little uncomfortable with her being so close. I'll just have to get used to it I suppose.

"Yup."

"Out!"

_

* * *

_

Raven

I laugh happily and in a blink we're teleported back inside the Tower, outside my room. Gar's mind spins and for a moment he panics, ready to react to any danger then he calms and looks down at me.

"Can you warn me next time? I don't like teleporting."

"Sorry I don't listen very well." I reply.

"Obviously."

I laugh gently but take a step back. Gar lets out a soft sigh of relief and I blush. "Sorry."

"For what?"

"I just...well…I don't know."

He raises one brow in confusion.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable." my face heats up and I have to force myself not to look at the floor like I want to.

"It's not that…I just…" he scowls slightly and I can see glimpses of pictures in his mind. Time spent as animals. Simple times. Never having to decipher complex emotions. Knowing that trust was earned not given. Fear of people.

"You don't like people touching you." I say softly.

"No I don't." he rubs a long scar on his arm absently as he looks at me. "But I can get over that. Just…don't sneak up on me or anything."

Again I can see the pictures. A pretty woman crying softly as she clutches her bloody arm. A man standing over Gar, yelling in anger. I look up as I feel Gar's fingers brush my hair back. He sighs quietly and the images stop.

"Sorry."

"It's okay." I whisper as I trace the scar on his arm.

A barrage of complex emotions hit me and not for the first time I wish I could turn off my empathy. It would make life a lot simpler not to mention I feel like I'm invading people's privacy when I know what they're thinking.

"Look Rae…this is gonna be hard. I'm not exactly easy to get along with."

I smile up at him, "That's okay. I'm not either. But we're both mature and we can deal with all that stuff in the morning. You look tired."

As I reach up to touch his face he stiffens, his emerald eyes watching me warily. Again I smile and this time use my empathy to impress the feeling of comfort and warmth of human contact on him. His body relax slightly but his eyes still hold fear.

I lower my hand, obviously this would take time. Gar was damaged, probably more than anyone could ever guess but I was pretty much an expert on handling damaged people.

"It'll be okay. We'll make it work." I whisper.

He nods but looks surer of himself than I know he feels. He takes a careful breath then presses his lips to my forehead. "Good night Rae."

While I try to catch my breath he took off down the hall, leaving the lingering emotions of nervousness and pride in the air. I smile slightly then enter my room with a delighted sigh.

* * *

**A/N:** **again i'm not happy with the ending but its better than some of what i had. R&R please!**


	7. Fear

**A/N: sorry its been so long. i have no excuses, this has been written for awhile i just forgot :( sorry**

* * *

Fear

_Raven_

My friends know everything.

Victor and Starfire are concerned. They want to do anything they can to help. The problem is I don't think there's anyone in this world that can help me anymore.

Robin is scared. Scared for me, scared for the team, scared for Starfire, scared for the city, scared for the world. So of course he's locked up inside the evidence room, searching for information that he knows doesn't exist only because it makes him feel useful.

Gar is angry. Actually he's more than angry. He's absolutely furious. Mostly it's because I didn't trust him with the truth. After all we've been together for almost a year now and I've always urged him to share things with me. But he doesn't understand. This secret…it's not something I _could_ share.

I've never been so terrified in my life when I saw the ruby red marks covering my arms and legs. The vision was scary but those runes, each one of them was some sort of sign for death.

My death, my friends' deaths, the city's deaths, my world's deaths.

I've never made it a secret that I'm not entirely human. But I've never found a good way to explain what I truly am.

A portal.

A pawn.

A _demon_.

When I was very young Azar told me my mother's story. How she was searching for acceptance and came across the Church of Trigon. How she was selected to be Trigon's bride, to bear his child who would bring about the destruction of the world.

Are you following me here?

Arella and Azar knew Trigon would come. There was no doubt about that. But they had trained me to fight him, to drive him back into hell where he belonged. And all my life I'd been so sure of myself. I would defeat my father and my life wouldn't change very drastically.

But what I hadn't counted on was how incredibly _powerful_ Trigon was. He could strip me of my powers without a second thought. And what was I without those? Nothing. Just a weakling who couldn't protect anyone.

The sharp air whips around my body, blowing my hair every which way. For a brief moment I lose my balance but quickly back away from the edge of the Tower to solve that problem. Then I inch back.

Twenty stories. A fall like that would last only a few second at the most.

I bite my lip. If I died…would Trigon come?

The shame and fear overwhelms me and I stand on the edge of the Tower, my arms spread wide. I can feel the demon runes burning my skin again and tears stream down my cheeks.

_

* * *

_

Gar

Raven's room is empty. I stand in the doorway and glance at her meditation mirror. Its surface is clear and I can tell she's not there. If she's not in her room then she must be up on the roof. I take the steps two at a time.

I shouldn't have gotten so angry at her. I should've understood her better. How could she just tell us something like that? It wasn't exactly casual conversation for the dinner table but…I shivered as I recalled the smell of burning skin and Raven's screams of pain. Whatever those symbols were they'd terrified her. Even the pain was nothing compared to her fear.

The door is ajar and I push it open gently.

"Rae?"

My beautiful girl is standing on the edge of the roof, her arms spread wide. Terror grips my heart and without thinking I morph into a pterodactyl and grab her by the shoulders. She screams in surprise as I drop from the sky and back onto the roof. While morphing into a human I wrap her up in my arms so tightly I'm half afraid I'll break her ribs.

"No, no, no." I say over and over as she struggles in my grip.

Her shock disappears and is replaced with anger. Wordlessly she punches me in the jaw. For a moment I reel but don't relax my grip at all. Not giving me a chance to recover she begins to thrash, punch, kick and bite.

"Let me go!" she screams.

"No!"

"Let go!"

I bare my teeth at her, unleashing my fury and fear from behind my mental wall. She quiets in an instant, her breath heaving and tears still soaking her lashes as she stares up at me in wordless shock.

"No, Raven."

She whimpers weakly and I quickly build up the wall again. Normally I would _never_ throw myself at her like that but she was hysterical. It takes me a moment to reign myself in and once I'm done I try to keep my anger quelled as Raven trembles in my arms.

"What were you thinking?"

"I don't know. I thought if I…"

"You thought if you killed yourself you wouldn't have to deal with all of this?"

She nods miserably and her body heaves with sobs.

My anger melts away and I hold her to me. Her arms wind around my neck as she sobs her heart out. At a loss I nuzzle her neck tenderly and open my thoughts to her, unable to form words.

_What would I do if I lost you?_

_You'd survive._

I growl. _No, without you there is nothing._

_Gar…_

_No. _

_But you were so angry…_

_Anger and fear are best friends. We fear what we don't understand. I was afraid for you; I don't want to let you go through this alone. I shouldn't have exploded like that. You just…looked so…_

I picture her again and I shudder. I've never seen such shame in my entire life.

_You weren't my Raven_.

_I don't think I'm strong enough._

_Yes you are._

_How do you know?_

_Because I know you. You'll get through this. We'll help you. There's nothing to fear except fear itself._

She ponders this for a few moments then clings to me tighter. I carefully touch the partially healed burns, her teeth clench and the shame returns.

"I'm a demon." she admits sadly.

"No you're not. You are Raven, nothing else. Just like I'm Garfield, not an animal."

A giant tear escapes her lashes and I kiss it away.

"I'm not going anywhere Rae. You don't have to go through this alone."

"I don't know if I can do this. I used to but…" she shivers.

"You can."

"But-"

"You can."

She looks up at me and I wipe at her tears clumsily. It breaks my heart to see her like this. After a few minutes she takes a deep breath.

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Good."

_

* * *

_

You must do the things you think you cannot do. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

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